Nip Child

Posted by admin on September 8th, 2009

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Nip Child

How to talk to your brother about how he's scolding his child.?

My brother is a big man 250Lbs, 6'4". When he scolds his child, he does it very physically. He rarely hits the child, but he does a lot of grabbing and jerking and pushing the child down. I'm afraid one day that he'll really hurt his child. How can I talk with him about it and not make a family feud over it? We've tried to approach him before, but he normally nips it in the bud and changes the subject with a tone that suggests he doesn't want to get into that subject.

Here is an interesting article regarding disciplining children with a section on the consequences of his physical punishment. If nothing else, just print out a copy and give to him.

By Better Health Channel,
Government Organization
Better Health Channel, Victoria Austrailia

Disciplining children
Discipline is not another word for punishment. Disciplining your child means teaching them responsible behaviour and self-control. With appropriate and consistent discipline, your child will learn about consequences and taking responsibility for their own actions. The ultimate aim is to encourage the child to discipline and control themselves. At its best, discipline rewards the child for good behaviour and discourages bad behaviour using fair and positive means. Some parents think that discipline means physical punishment, such as hitting and smacking, or verbal abuse such as yelling or threatening the child. This is not discipline.

The consequences of physical punishment

Children learn by example, and numerous studies show that the most influential role models in a child's life are their parents. Inflicting pain on the child to stop them from misbehaving teaches them to solve problems with violence. Other problems caused by physical punishment include:

The possibility of injury.
The lost opportunity to explain why the child's behaviour was wrong and the chance to offer alternatives.
The immediate pain, anger and hurt felt by the child.
Over the long term, the child may become withdrawn, fearful or bullying.
The child may try to avoid physical punishment by lying or stealth.
Reasons for misbehaviour
Children misbehave for many reasons, including:

They are too young to know that their actions are unacceptable.
They are frustrated, angry or upset and have no other reasonable way to express their feelings.
They are stressed by major changes, such as divorce, a new sibling or starting school.
They want your undivided attention.
They feel you have been unfair and want to punish you.
They need a greater degree of independence and feel constricted.
Your child's ability to understand
A child's intellectual ability develops over time. A very young child, such as a baby, has no comprehension of right and wrong, so any attempt at discipline is a wasted effort. It is important to pace the discipline of your child with your child's capacity to understand. For instance, your three year old needs to know why a certain behaviour is unacceptable, but won't grasp a longwinded or sophisticated explanation. Try to explain things to your child at their level. Encourage your child to tell you how they are feeling. Perhaps they threw a temper tantrum because they were afraid or nervous. If you know the reasons for your child's misbehaviour, you can help solve the underlying problems.

Sticking to the rules
You need to be consistent with rules of behaviour, or else you risk confusing the child. Suggestions include:

If you are amused by your child's naughty behaviour, try not to show it on your face, or else your child might think you approve.
Don't bend rules too often, because the child won't know whether or not a certain behaviour is permitted.
Clearly explain the preferred behaviour, to make sure your child understands what you expect of them.
Make sure you're not expecting too much, for example it is normal for young toddlers to make a mess while they are eating, because motor control and table manners take time to master.
Don't make empty threats, or your child will ignore your warning signs.
Ask your child to be involved in some of the rule making for the family.
Explaining consequences
Good discipline helps a child to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Ideally, the consequence should immediately follow the action, or else the child may forget and fail to make the connection. Teaching your child about consequences may include:

Cleaning up a mess they have made
Tidying up their toys when they can't find the one they are looking for
Spending time alone when they have been naughty
Playing by themselves when they have been aggressive.
Taking time out
Many parents use some form of 'time out' to discipline their children. Time out means asking the child to be alone for a while to think about their actions. Children under three years of age don't have the intellectual maturity to understand time out, but it can be a valuable opportunity for self-reflection with older children. As a general guide, time out can be around one minute for every year of your child's age.

Reinforcing good behaviour
A child naturally wants the love and approval of their parents, so one of the easiest ways to encourage good behaviour is to reward and praise them for it.

Things to remember
Discipline is not another word for punishment.
Disciplining your child means teaching them responsible behaviour and self-control.
Pace the discipline of your child with your child's capacity to understand.

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Nip/Tuck - Jesus To A Child

we recently moved in with another Army family and my cat, Russel has started to nip and bite at people?

I have a 2 year old little girl and they have two more young children, any pointers on how I can keep him calm in a not so calm environment?

Try putting him in another room like a bathroom.Moving can be VERY stressful for cats, and other people can heighten the stress. In retaliation to the move he feels abit threatened, and will nip and bite. New scents also can be stressful. Hope that helps hun good luck!